The art of not talking...

Wow is this a tough one for me. I like to talk, a lot. Too much I'm sure. I met my match today with a client that I sat down with. I'm not sure this person even knew I was there as the conversation was one sided at best. Oh I got in the occassional grunt, and even tried to focus and steer the conversation back to the task at hand with zero luck. It reminded me of something my grandfather once said, you don't learn anything by talking. When I got home tonight I shared this with my kids and tried to really nail that point home.

Often on calls or when out to lunch with a client I find myself not only dictating the conversation, but dominating it. That can't be fun for anyone else (although I do consider myself a decent conversationalist) and I often find myself in my head telling myself to breath and start asking those always important questions that get my guest talking about themselves and their businesses. It is only when they truly open up that the real conversation begins, with me assuming the role of the patient listener. And if there is one thing I learned early, there isn't a business owner on this earth that doesn't love telling their story, and I genuinely love to hear it. Makes us better bankers, helps develop trust, and that sought after feeling of actually being a team, working toward a common goal (their success) in an open way.

So the next time you are out with someone, ask yourself am I doing all the talking, is the conversation about me or them and am I adding any value to the discussion? Most important take some deep breaths, sit back and actively listen to your guest. You will be surprised by how much they are and aren't saying.  There are so many clues contained within what your guest is saying, its up to you as a good banking partner to fish those out and explore them with good questions and collectively brainstorm some real solutions that will add appreciable value to your relationships.